5 things for Thursday September 22
- I was a gaping bottomless hunger pit today, and grumpy about it. I keep hoping to hear from the people who magically make food stamps happen (I somehow equate this with a Wizard of Oz type of scenario for some reason). The government man who, in his dingy office, gives me a card that somehow equates to me being able to eat on a regular basis. It is like a strange kind of magic. Hopefully this can happen soon. I also know that I am premenstrual, and quitting smoking and drinking as of late is probably adding to the desire of hand-to-mouth behavior, and general hormonal craziness.
- Luc has been bundles and spurts of energy lately on our walks. We walked to Woodlawn Park again, and he was doing sprints of running across the field, which is more running than a 14 year old dog-man should be doing. My heart bursts in affection for him when he flops on the grass and wriggles around, bending his body in half and kicking his skinny, seemingly fragile legs up into the air in powerful circular kicking motions. I used to think that he was rolling in something gross (which often might still be the case) but really I think his fur is so thick that rolling in grass must feel really good…like a rewarding back scratch, like Baloo in the Disney Jungle Book cartoon. Also at the park, a large fountain erupting, and a toddler with no grasp of verbal language, gesturing wildly at it shrieking “UH! UH! UH! UH! UH!” while its mother recorded with her mobile device. The kid’s eyes were like saucers, pointing and looking in amazement from the fountain to its mother back to the fountain like it was the most mind-blowing, amazing thing it had ever seen in its life, which is possibly true. Moments like this make me feel grateful and jaded all at once.
- Dropped my car off at Alamo Auto Repair, which consists three older mechanics who have carved a serious niche in the Volvo mechanic service of Portland. These dudes are gems, the stuff of legend. I took the car in for an oil change, but got new window switches! A new rubber pad for my clutch pedal! And my defrost hose adjusted! And a list of things I should eventually fix. All for no extra charge. I will always suggest them for new business, but they never answer the phone because they are so busy. Job security! The lot that they work on is a crazy tetris puzzle of Volvos in all shapes sizes and states of broken-ness and disarray but nothing gets those guys down, I swear.
- After dropping my car off I bike the 7 + miles to PSU to print off some resumes and check out their job fair. It was a lovely ride, really. Being in Portland, it’s so nice to see all the thruways so clearly marked and easy to navigate. And now that it’s turning fall, everything feels so temporal and corporeal. As I passed 21st and Ankeny, I saw my friend Erin who often is known by the name “Chach”. I stopped and hugged her and asked her about a trip she’d recently returned from. She was heading to PSU too. “I have my car, or I would bike with you,” she said. She told me she got a tutoring job with Portland Schools. Then she told me that there were something like 350 applicants and they chose HER. This information kind of set me off on a hopeless moody trajectory. I am stoked for her, but one can’t help but feel a little helpless at that kind of news. I think reality is really hitting me, after months of care-free living.
- The PSU thing turned out to be a shit show. Discouraged, I ended up talking to my dear friend Katie G., who cheered me on, and then called in some names for me to take resumes to, all of which I did. Every day is a new challenge for sure, but I just keep going a day at a time, knowing that it will all work out eventually. It seems crazy to think though, that 6 months ago, I was laying in my bed in Salt Lake City and literally thought to myself: “I AM SO HAPPY. I AM SO HAPPY THAT I CAN’T IMAGINE THAT I WILL EVER BE THIS HAPPY AGAIN”. But I will be. Bring on the corporeal, bring on the temporal, now.
posted by Mary