“I pack my suitcase with myself but I’m already gone.”

We had a major lag there for a while. Did I say “we”? I meant I DID. I HAD ONE, not you.

MARY, we will cook lots of food together, do not worry one bit about that.

I think Paul is doing okay, has probably been better, but I have this strange faith that he is psychic and maybe knew that something like this would happen to him one day in his adult life, and that he’s got these internal guides that will carry him through whatever life brings, hard stuff and good stuff, through it all. He is a truly spiritual guy and has a lot of faith in himself, at least when he’s talked to me about that sort of thing. It’s reassuring and inspiring.

It is SO GOOD to be in One’s Own Bed. Charlotte just bought a new bed this week and has been sharing similar stories of bliss. The dollar bill story reminds me of every time I think I see a dollar on the ground while on my bike. It happens more often than you might think. Maybe I’m seeing things, or maybe people lose money all the time and you just have to look out for it. And then decide not to pick it up, for whatever karmic reasons you might carry.

I love, love, love the story about riding on the sidewalk. Perfect timing. Now you can feel better about not being quick enough to quip, “I’m not asking for money on the street and I still think you’re a dumbass” to those popped collar d-bags in front of Squatters.

Lots of Things have happened between today and my last 5things. I will now list a brief summary in carefully selected words and phrases, to catch you (all of you) up:

…At Fresh Market on the way home, a dude who saw me saddling up and said I was “hardcore.” Jason (my favorite clerk) goes, “You have fenders!”
…Charlotte on the phone feels fired up and crazy after watching Ru Paul’s “Drag Race.”  We commiserate about how that show makes us feel, and she shares her recipe for red beans & rice.
…Mental stamina wearing down.
…Soundtrack this week: Honey Watts, Mountain Man, Kurt Vile and Bert Jansch.
…Mom & Dad’s trips. The car and the dog and the doctor’s appt.

5 things / Thursday-Friday / October 6-7 / 2011

  1. RAIN RAIN RAIN RAIN RAIN. Cold. Wet. Woodsmoke. These two mornings are full of late autumn: fallen leaves, deep red brick, streaky pavement, reassuring grip on my new bike tires. It feels like winter already and it’s much too early. Dad says all of the snow will melt next week and it will get temperate, normal, gradual again. This happens in Utah. Mary referred to it the other day as “bipolar” weather. I couldn’t agree more! It’s what I enjoyed most when I lived here. That there could be a completely warm, sunny and bright day in the middle of February. I believe I may be ready for more consistency, as this cold snap shocked my system and I immediately felt like SUCH A BABY. Where did the stamina and stoicism earned by all of my hard Vermont winters go? I’ve become soft, like an old pear.
     
  2. I was supposed to have a doctor’s appointment this morning, but I had to reschedule due to gnomes taking the doctor’s office hostage. So instead I used my morning to update my blog. And went into work late anyway. Hahahaa! Take that, universe! I told Dad (whose car I was borrowing for said doctor’s appointment) the truth when I returned his vehicle. But it still felt awfully surreal and luxurious. If and when I get up early enough, I love lounging and drinking coffee and writing, pretending like that’s my for real job. Maybe someday it will be! When I got into work it seemed like everything was still chugging along like normal. Jacob is at some wedding in Tennessee and everyone else was grumbling about the cold weather (it was 70 degrees and sunny three days ago, now it is 41 degrees and rain/snowing) (See Thing #1). I pulled out the ol’ heat dish which spent last winter camped three feet from my desk chair, as there are only two heat vents in the downstairs area of my work and it can feel like a well-lit cave November through March.
  3. Yo, I made BEET PATTIES for dinner Thursday night. Another recipe gleaned from the twin sister. Due to much improvisation from the original recipe, they turned out a bit confusing in texture, but I like them. Boiled about three pounds of home grown beets of various colors and shapes, plus a few nubbly white, yellow and orange carrots, tahini, and yellow onion in a blender. Then I added an egg and some chickpea flour, plus salt, pepper, curry powder and some cumin, but they were still pretty gloppy. So I added more regular all-purpose flour and a bit of cornmeal, which ended up giving them a slight polenta-esque texture. Light-fried them in some vegetable oil. Oh man. Delicious with salt & pepper & ketchup. This is a crappy phone picture of the victims, pre-boiling:

    Ready to walk the plank

     

  4. I smelled like a deep-fryer when I headed over to M&D’s. Dad gave me the house/car/dog run-down as I am house-sitting for them this whole week, until the 15th. Don’t burn the place down, keep an eye on the tomatoes out back, here’s how you make coffee with my fancy new Japanese ceramic coffee dripper and glass range server, here are the phone numbers of our neighbors, take Lucy on walks, talk to the cat, empty the compost, keep lights on and stay here as much as you’d like. Also, he says, “Don’t drive my car like I do.” Which is hilarious. He does drive like a crazyman sometimes. At least he is aware of it. (LOVE YOU DAD) Went home exhausted even though it was only 10:30. I think my thyroid is acting up again/forever.
  5. Rode into work on Friday morning and it was like I was riding straight into January. What the fudge, seriously?! It was so effing cold. It was exhilarating. I needed my woolly mittens, headband, thick socks and two jackets. There was an amazing air of REALITY riding in the cold. I reflected on this feeling all the way to work; summer is easy, lazy, challenge-free in most endeavors like “getting places” even if you’re on a bike. Actually, maybe this is only true if you’re on a bike. It’s crappy and sweaty and smells like pavement and gasoline in a car in the heat of the summer. At least on a bike you can dress almost naked and feel the wind on your entire body. In the winter you have to bundle up and feel that strange cold-hot-sweat in your armpits and back of your neck and down your boobies.
  6. I spun the length of time between phone calls at work reading about artist’s residencies, the Occupy Wall Street movement, and how overly-emotional people are getting about Steve Jobs’ death. Took Dad to the airport midday, and then I got to hang out with Lucy at work, which is always fun. Many dog owners think she is an Irish setter but she is alllllllllllll goofball golden retriever. There are lots of people who want tutoring sessions over the weekends; it is so, inexplicably difficult to line these up sometimes. But sometimes parents do not understand that the world does not drop to their knees every time their son/daughter would like a three-point improvement on their ACTs.
  7. After work, I rolled home and holed up with some echinacea tea to finish a letter to Joanna. Then I went over to Marilyn & Shari’s new mother-in-law apartment right behind their old one. It is tucked away behind the main house, and they have this cute backyard & garden zone. Shari has laid down an impressively wide stone path to discourage the dogs from tramping mud into the house during the wet months. Paul rolled in with a 6er of Natty Ice and it was so good to see him. M & S served us all incredible homemade mole sauce, with almonds, cinnamon, chile peppers, other spices… holy hell. It was so good. Next food club venture for sure (it was vegan!).
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One thought on ““I pack my suitcase with myself but I’m already gone.”

  1. 1 – bipolar weather, indeed: http://littlesarahbigworld.com/2011/05/10/unusual-weather-patterns/

    2 – i pretended to be a writer once, for a week

    3 – those are some seriously phallic and bosom-esque veggies you’ve got there

    4 – i am currently house-sitting, as well. the dog is so senile. and the cat is dead.

    5 – YES. agreed.

    6 – i still want to work at your work

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